Weight sucks... when you are trying to lose it

Alright. I mentioned in Dec, Jan. and Feb. I was losing weight, right? Well, I didn't bother. I let it all go. I didn't lose weight. Well I did but then I gained that 5 lbs back.

I always knew one day I'd reach that point where I wasn't happy with myself when I looked in the mirror. Admittedly, it took me longer to get there than I previously suspected but I can no longer pretend my body looks like anything other than it does.

You see, my body image has always been BETTER than my real body. It's a flaw, really. What can I say? lol I'm a bikini model in my mind's eye. At least, I was a little bit of a soft bikini model. I have to be realistic, you know.  -wink-

So anyway, here's the stats. The confessional... the stuff you don't care about but I'm going to say anyway.

I'm 5'2".  I weigh 162lbs.  I'm 36 years old. I work from home, on the computer. I sit most of the time.  My endurance is no longer good but sucks. Otherwise, I'm generally in good health.

This is me now at the hubs change of command ceremony.  BTW, that's the hubs. -grin-

Look close, you will see a lower chin. You can see a shadow of cleavage (I only have cleavage if I'm overweight or pregnant and I'm not pregnant!) The arm? Well, it's definately bigger than it used to be. Softer... dare I say, flabbier?  I do. I did, see? Flabbier.  And see where those hands are? they are folded over a belly, that you can see it has a little roundness. You can see the same in the rear, too.  And that's even wearing 2 inch heels! What I see when I look at this is me becoming a short round person. Like one of the fairy godmothers in Snow White. tee-hee 

This is me a few years ago. Decent enough legs, decent enough arms... no extra chin or belly. Not exactly rail thin but that's just fine and always has been with me. More healthy, even a bit athletic. I liked that body.  (And I'm sorry but I don't have many in between pictures. I'm usually the one behind the camera.)

So, in an effort to get back to the way I was, I'm REALLY making an effort.  Counting points on Weight Watchers.com and tracking my exercise, which is really the benefit to the online tracking for me.  All that said, I started today.

I had breakfast, 2/3 of an egg and cheese croissonwich from Burger King... did you realize that's 5 points? That's okay. I can eat that stuff if I'm watching elsewhere.

So, I had this for lunch. I added the chicken today but the rest was a simple salade from last night. 2 points.  I have 14 points left to use tonight for a real meal.  Good thing. I want ice cream for dessert and I'm hungry. Are you really surprised?

Okay, so weight sucks... when you are trying to lose it.  So why bore you? Well, you were handy to torment. I needed to be honest so I threw it up here. No more, no less. If you've read this far, thanks for suffering through. If you are inclined to comment I don't need to lose weight, please don't.  I feel I need to lose it and am too easily swayed to be lazy if someone says I don't. I'm weak! LOL

So if anyone wants to join me, feel free. I am going to try to post my weekly weight here along with progress on exercice. Just a couple sentences at one point throughout the week. Not a big long post like this. 

And there it is. Have a good afternoon everyone. I'm off to plan my dinner.

Cheers! Beck