Well folks, as I came to realize, I've been letting all my life upheavals interfere with taking care of myself. As a consequence I gained back the weight I lost (again) because I didn't stay committend. This time, I'm relying on all of you. I went down a pants size and back up the first time around. NOT AGAIN.
1) I recognize I am eating out of boredom and depression and stress. That's a deadly combination folks. I'm also being lazy for the same reasons.
--DUH!! Old athlete in me, the smart person in me and my dietician SIL (and nurse mom) all understand this is a vicious cycle that just lends to re-inforcing those same behaviors.
2) I have been looking in the mirror lately and thinking how bad I look. I realized I get into a habit of not looking but that has stopped working, I'm forcing myself to look again. Be honest with myself. Be accountible.
3) I feel like crap. I'm always tired. I get winded too easily, I don't want to move... again, a cycle of behavior that will change when I make myself stronger agian.
4) Summer is here and I love fresh vegetables and fruits and cooking fresh. It will be easier to tailor my diet and by fall/winter, my goal is to have a good handle on bringing all those good veggies into my winter diet (I plan to can this summer to ensure I get what I love year round.)
5) I've realized I can't keep waiting for my life to be organized and settle before I pay attention to this because I can't control some of these external stressors and I'm only creating my own internal ones (feeling like crap, tired, etc.) by NOT doing this.
Excuses are over. Not wanting it is over. I want it, I want to treat myself to things I don't (like a new skirt or shirt) beacuse I don't want to buy a bigger size. I want to feel good about my fitness level and about how I look. I want to naturally fight the stressors in my life by creating those damn endorphins. I want this, this time.
All that said, here's the accountibility.
Today, I weigh 168 pounds. I am 5'2" tall.
Today, I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video (again). Also again, I put the sailors to shame with my langauge. (This post said it all.)
Today, I ate a small bowl of cereal and 1% (sorry, just can't get to skim) milk for breakfast. I'm eating an interesting little pasta bowl for lunch.(about 1/2 cup bow-tie pasta -cleaned out last of white and from here on out all whole-wheat - with about 3 ounces cooked kale, 2 cloves of minced, sauteed garlic, 1/8 cup diced, sauteed onion and 1 tsp sweet potato butter. cook all and mix. It's interesting, alright.) and a homemade sorbet for dessert (I love me my ice cream in the summer so I am determined to make fruit sorbets as a great alternative). Finally, I'm going to have 1/2 a yogurt for snack and dinner is still up in the air. I am thinking fish, probably salmon with an island marinade I made the other day.
I am not paying for Weight Watchers any longer but I will keep a daily log of what I'm eating and how I am exercising. I am thinking that if I post this on Weigh-In Wednesdays, I will be accounting for myself publically so please bear with me on this quilter's blog, this once per week post.
And there you have it. I'm off to A Ditchin Time Quilts blog to update those posting on weight loss on my own regression and renewed intent.
Thank you my friends.